The title of this column was inspired by one of my favourite books as a child called The Passport of Mallam Ilia, written by Cyprian Ekwensi.
\nA young man on a train to Northern Nigeria wants to meet his mother, Dije and unearth the whereabouts of his father. There, he runs into an old man with an equally worn out passport. They start talking. The young man listens while Mallam Ilia, the old man, would be the novel\u2019s principal protagonist.
\nBear with me as the plot of this great book needs some telling. The Passport of Mallam Ilia was written and set in colonial times, and Mallam Ilia by his own accounts was a hot-head, a travelling man who abhorred convention. When the time came to marry, Mallam Ilia \u201cdid not consider it gallant merely to \u2018buy\u2019 or \u2018take on\u2019 a wife.\u201d And so his chance came one evening when roaming Arab traders challenged a young Mallam Ilia and others to a game of Sanchi to win Zarah, the beautiful daughter of Kanemi, the Prince of the Tuaregs.
\nShanchi was the equivalent of Rome\u2019s gladiator matches. The men were warned that \u2018some of you here will not breathe tomorrow\u2019s air. For this night, Shanchi may claim you.\u2019
\nBut Mallam Ilia fought till he faced Usman (or was it Adamu?), the last contender. Rather than kill his opponent, Illia left him wounded. The burly man would never forget, and sent Ilia to prison, before killing Zara and fleeing. Mallam Ilia devoted the rest of his life to pursuing Usman, seeking revenge. Along the way there were bright spots; he married a woman called Dije and when she got pregnant, he gifted her with a talisman.
\nMallam Ilia, though ailing, finally got his revenge on the same train where he recounted the story with his last breath. It also happened that the young lad was his son, the same one fathered with Dije.
\nI find that in many ways, The Passport of Mallam Ilia reminds me of another Mallam…Nasir El-Rufai.<\/p>\n
\nMallam Ilia\u2019s travelling is similar to Mallam El-Rufai\u2019s political journey, one which started from a point called \u201caccidental civil servant,\u201d has moved on through \u201ccertified ruffler of feathers\u201d and may well have \u201cintentional government heckler\u201d as its final destination.
\nWhen you remember that both men from different generations struck a conversation on a journey and the younger man becomes a notable character himself, you will be forgiven for thinking the young man who chats up Mallam Ilia is the same as Japheth Omojuwa, Mallam El-Rufai\u2019s understudy of sorts on Twitter.
\nIn fact, when the distinguished Mallam got into an argument on Twitter with presidential spokesperson Reuben Abati over the government\u2019s aircraft fleet, Omojuwa jumped in with: \u201cDr. Reuben is a frustrated man. He needs to find a Jacuzzi or find a good spa. You need a holiday sir.\u201d
\nWhich got a prompt retweet from Mallam El-Rufai. Great back and forth between generations on a train called Twitter, as with Ekwensi\u2019s masterpiece.<\/p>\n
\nSpeaking of Twitter, more often than not Mallam El-Rufai\u2019s utterances and retweets therein would confer instant playground status on the menacing game of Sanchi described by Ekwensi.
\nWhere Mallam Illia used knives and weapons, Mallam El-Rufai uses words to hack away at the opponents he has even dubbed \u201cJonathians.\u201d
\nA tame sample of his recent gems:<\/p>\n
\nMallam has also retweeted posts that drew strong criticism from Christians. He apologised over one such retweet, in January 2013.
\nAll the bodacious achievements Mallam El-Rufai had during his time in government I now struggle to remember…this is because he is constantly coming off as intentionally divisive, vengeful and petty on Twitter, with words that are often as uncharitable as they are needlessly sensational. This sad development is something which makes me both wary and mindful that I can barely remember much about how Mallam Ilia started, but I am struck by how he ended; poisoned and dying, in a hurtling train carriage.
\nIn effect Twitter and Facebook, those fleeting yet enduring bastions of social media, are turning out to be The Passport of Mallam El-Rufai to a downward spiral of disrepute.<\/p>\n
\nThe Passport of Mallam Ilia was about revenge, and how one man was consumed in his quest for it. In the end though he avenged his wife, his actions meant a son lost his father.
\nI am not sure what the \u201cZarah\u201d or ultimate prize is that drives this Twitter and Facebook \u201cShanchi\u201d bouts between Nigeria\u2019s politicians, with their hangers-on aka protegees and aides feeding off of it. Not sure which \u201cKanemi, Prince of the Tuaregs\u201d is pulling the strings in the background to ensure this shameful spectacle continues…but it is clear all this will end in tragedy.
\nThe message will remain lost, and though the messenger(s) may put up a damn good show, they will never leave the fast moving train \u201calive.\u201d
\nWorse off, those in the coming generation misguided enough to pitch their compasses on this same path are guaranteed to perpetuate the same culture of vengeful speech which blights clarity in our national debate, online and offline.
\nKnock yourselves out why don\u2019t you.<\/p>\n
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