\u201cYou look sleepy\u201d<\/p>\n
“My brother, let\u2019s just say I slept at a fuel station, looking for fuel.\u201d
\n\u201cFor which of the women in your life, because I hear these days, to please a woman in Nigeria, you must be ready to supply the three major things lacking in the land: money, fuel, and happiness.\u201d
\n\u201cLeave that matter, please. My condolences on the death of your man, Governor Abubakar Audu\u201d
\n\u201cWe thank God for his life. He played his part.\u201d
\n\u201cTo be so close to breasting the tape and then fall.\u201d
\n\u201cI know. I know. May be if he had not insisted on running again for the office of Governor in Kogi state, he would still be alive today.\u201d
\n\u201cThe man drove himself too hard, publicly and privately. He ran for every Gubernatorial election in Kogi state since 1991. There must be something special in being Governor for him.\u201d
\n\u201cDon\u2019t speak ill of the dead, I beg you. Simple etiquette.\u201d
\n\u201cBut you know now?\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t know nothing\u201d
\n\u201cThen the man went and married a young, 23-year old. If the election had been concluded and the man had won, the First Lady of Kogi state would have been a 23-year old lady! Those who seek public office should always weigh their lifestyle and their health against their ambition, but politicians act as if they are superhuman.\u201d
\n\u201cCan you stop?\u201d
\n\u201cA 74-year old man, with a 23-year old wife. That alone is enough to give anybody hypertension.\u201d
\n\u201cHe was 68\u201d
\n\u201cOfficial age. He was 74, somebody told me.\u201d
\n\u201cExcuse me! Respect the dead, please.\u00a0 Abubakar Audu was a democrat extraordinary, a courageous politician, a visionary, selfless, man of the people, and his party\u2019s popular choice.\u201d
\n\u201cMy view is that it is not the election in Kogi that is inconclusive per se, a supplementary election will be organized, a winner will emerge; it is Audu\u2019s death that is inconclusive considering the many issues it has thrown up.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat kind of talk is that? Death is final. It is the cessation of all things, a necessary end.\u201d
\n\u201cNothing has ended with Abubakar Audu\u2019s death oh. Did you not see the desperate efforts made to get some Prophets to resurrect him? And some people actually believed that he could be the Lazarus of our time!\u00a0 They started jubilating.\u201d
\n\u201cThat is concrete proof of his popularity. But I was shocked seeing Nigerians will believe anything, and being so superstitious. Even the grave diggers stopped digging, waiting for the prophets to perform a miracle.\u201d
\n\u201cI hear there was a meeting of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) on the Kogi election but the moment the prophets waded in, even INEC suspended its meeting and did not reconvene until the prophets failed.\u201d
\n\u201cOnly in Africa!\u201d
\n\u201cWhen the Prophets didn\u2019t deliver, people got angry. They could have lynched those Prophets\u201d
\n\u201cWell, at least, some people will now know that the prophets are not always right in the age of biology and science.\u00a0 Who could have been behind such a hare-brained scheme?\u201d
\n\u201cThe man\u2019s in-laws, for example.
\n\u201cOh, come on\u201d
\n\u201cOr persons who may have been promised appointments and contracts. Or it could be persons who invested in his candidacy. Elections in Nigeria are business investments. The investors must have thought of a last minute strategy to reverse the situation. Simple economics. \u201d
\n\u201cYou and your theories. The same people will do business with whoever eventually wins the election, anyway.\u201d
\n\u201cThere is also the inconclusive matter of the 23-year old wife.\u00a0 When the death was announced, many commentators on social media were more concerned about the young widow. Comments about how she will cope, what she would do next. One guy asked for her phone numbers.\u201d
\n\u201cStupid, callous fellow.\u201d
\n\u201cAnother fellow actually said he was ready to inherit all of Audu\u2019s assets and liabilities in that regard.\u201d
\n\u201cLet him go ahead. Ole!\u201d
\n\u201cBesides, Audu\u2019s death has turned everybody into a Constitutional expert. What happens if a candidate dies in the course of an inconclusive election? Who becomes the new candidate?\u201d
\n\u201cSimple. The APC will field another candidate, appeal to whoever is aggrieved within the party to step down until an appropriate candidate who definitely must be Igala, is identified. I don\u2019t see the APC fielding any candidate who will automatically make them lose the election.\u201d
\n\u201cYou think the APC candidate must still be Igala? But nothing is ever that straightforward in Nigerian politics.\u201d
\n\u201cOf course, otherwise, it will be a walk-over for Governor Idris Wada. The Igalas have the numbers. Politics is a game of numbers. The stakes are high. I foresee many court cases\u201d
\n\u201cLet them field Audu\u2019s young widow then\u201d
\n\u201cAre you out of your mind? Why are you so obsessed with this lady?\u201d
\n\u201cOr may be his son. Does he have any son who is qualified? Let them make it a family affair. If he had supported his son as a candidate\u2026But people just don\u2019t know when to quit and hand over to the next generation.\u201d
\n\u201cWith a 23-year old wife, he was definitely committed to the next generation.\u201d
\n\u201cSome people are of the view that his running mate should just run with the mandate, but I don\u2019t think the circumstances favour him. He is from a minority group in Kogi state. He is a Christian, and the party may not back him.\u201d
\n\u201cPoor James Faleke\u201d
\n\u201cYeah, he must be troubled. What if he and Audu had won. And they had been sworn in. But now, there are no guarantees.\u201d
\n\u201cGod\u2019s will is supreme. That is one lesson we all must learn from all this. Remember Abacha? When it was time, God intervened. We are all pencils in God\u2019s hands. You can amass all the wealth in the world, marry all the young women, misapply the people\u2019s money, get so close to Cannan, but you can then fall sick and die. In life, things happen and all you have left is six feet, rich or poor, six feet.\u201d
\n\u201cSix feet\u201d
\n\u201cI hope Robert Mugabe knows this. I hope Grace Mugabe knows.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy Robert Mugabe?\u201d
\n\u201cDidn\u2019t you read that story about 50-year old Grace Mugabe, First Lady of Zimbabwe, buying her Robert, a special wheelchair?\u201d
\n\u201cThe way you pronounced Robert, you make it sound like Robot\u201d
\n\u201cIsn\u2019t that what the 91-year old President of Zimbabwe has become, a Robot. Grace Mugabe\u2019s Robot\u201d
\n\u201cSad. In his days, Robert Mugabe, multiple degrees holder, was a shining star. And now, his wife is pushing him around\u201d
\n\u201cShe actually has a PhD, awarded in two months, without examination or dissertation, by her Robert in his capacity as Chancellor of the University of Zimbabwe!\u201d
\n\u201cMugabe! A Pan-Africanist, who stood up to the British and neo-colonial imperialism; today, he is falling down at public functions, he reads the wrong speech in parliament, he is old and tired, and yet he won\u2019t quit.\u201d
\n\u201cHe should. Zimbabwe already has the oldest President in the world, and he has been in power since 1980- 35 years!\u201d
\n\u201cWith a wife like \u201cDis Grace\u201d Mugabe, he won\u2019t. She says she is ready to push the wheelchair herself, just in case anybody is in any doubt.\u201d
\n\u201cI won\u2019t put anything past that woman. Didn\u2019t she once proclaim that any woman who wears mini-skirt and gets raped should not complain? Is that not the same woman who punched a journalist in the face during a foreign visit?\u201d
\n\u201cMugabe has stayed too long and has allowed a woman to destroy his legacy. He is so smitten with \u201cDis-Grace\u201d, he allegedly fired his Chief of Defence Staff last year for staring at her derriere!\u201d
\n\u201cThat\u2019s madness.\u201d
\n\u201cBut the woman get am oh. The thing dey; very seriously. And you know in that part of Africa, the women don\u2019t need to buy it and enhance it like Kim Kardashian, the thing just dey and you can lose your head.\u201d
\n\u201cI think someday in Africa, we\u2019d have to start voting for these First Ladies too. Voters should be given the right to choose the President\u2019s wife, or at least they should be screened by parliament.\u00a0 In Africa, the wives wield so much influence.\u201d
\n\u201cThey do in other places too. It is the man that matters.\u201d
\n\u201cWhen Mugabe sits in that wheelchair, Zimbabwe is finished!\u201d
\n\u201cFor democracy to work, we need to worry about the leadership recruitment process in Africa.\u00a0 How do we free democracy from a debilitating sense and culture of entitlement. How do we get persons who are still up to it, and who will not aspire to rule till they are on wheelchair or life-long medication.\u201d
\n\u201c\u201cAll men who play God and who aspire to be God, let them be reminded, it is just six feet. In Cameroon, Paul Biya has been sitting tight for 33 years, in Congo, Nguesso has been in power for 36 years, in Equitorial Guinea, Mbasogo is almost a god in human form. And you have dos Santos in Angola (36 years) Bashir in Sudan (22 years) Museveni in Uganda (29 years), Idris Deby in Chad (25 years) and Jammeh in Gambia (21 years).\u201d
\n\u201cSix feet. Just six feet in the grave.\u201d
\n\u201cI hope they all know.\u201d
\n\u201cIt is also a lesson for the poor, including those young ones who play God with their talents.\u201d
\n\u201cAbsolutely. There are people these days who play God with their laptops, their pens and I-pads. Imagine some people jubilating over other people\u2019s misfortune.\u201d
\n\u201cSix feet, my brother, not an inch more nor less. In the grave, all men are equal.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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