Single-minded Kafayat Adegoke got herself pregnant after the mother of all
\ndeceptions.<\/p>\n
The 30-year-old mature student set out to be a single mum and drew up a
\nwishlist of characteristics she wanted in her child.<\/p>\n
Then she set about finding a man \u2013 any man \u2013 who would oblige by sleeping
\nwith her. Once, twice, or however many times to get her her pregnant.<\/p>\n
But the \u201clucky\u201d fella would never know all she wanted was to become
\npregnant and that he was being used.<\/p>\n
Once she was expecting, the \u201clover\u201d was to be dumped unceremoniously and
\ndenied any chance of bringing up the offspring.<\/p>\n
But Kafayat, whose baby is due in June, is in a lesbian relationship,
\ninsists she is not attracted to the opposite sex and went hunting for
\npartners because it was cheaper than IVF or surrogacy.<\/p>\n
She said: \u201cEver since I was a little girl I have yearned for a baby. I
\nlooked into IVF and surrogacy but they both seemed quite expensive. I also
\nfelt IVF was unnatural.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought logically and what I needed was a sperm donor and there were
\nplenty of these walking the streets and I could take my pick.<\/p>\n
\u201cI decided to pretend I was straight and trick a man into getting me
\npregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n
With meticulous planning, she held off sleeping with her new dates until
\nshe had thoroughly quizzed them about their family background, medical
\nhistory and even their blood group.<\/p>\n
She dated three men \u2013 one she met in Nando\u2019s, a jogger she befriended in a
\npark and finally a work colleague.<\/p>\n
Last autumn, after a year of hunting for her version of Mr Right, her plan
\nfinally paid off when she got pregnant by a man she had been seeing for
\ntwo months.<\/p>\n
Kafayat, from Bradford, West Yorks, then ended the relationship and barred
\nthe \u201csperm donor\u201d from the child\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
Instead, the cash-strapped user of men is hopeful that, as a single mum,
\nshe will get a council house and benefits.<\/p>\n
Kafayat, who is currently dating 26-year-old Aisha Atan, said: \u201cI have
\nalways wanted to be a mum.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a gay woman, surrogacy or IVF were options but I couldn\u2019t afford these
\nand they seemed too way too much hassle.<\/p>\n
\u201cI decided I would have to sleep with a man and started to look out for
\nguys that were good looking and intelligent with a sense of humour. I\u2019d
\nlike my child to have all these attributes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI couldn\u2019t have one-night stands with strangers \u2013 I needed to date them,
\nfind out about their medical and family history to see if they were
\nsuitable sperm donors.\u201d<\/p>\n
She added: \u201cI was with the last guy I dated for two months but when I fell
\npregnant I ended the relationship straight away.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy baby doesn\u2019t need a father, I don\u2019t want anything from him and I am so
\nexcited about being a single mum. I am going to speak to the local council
\nabout getting a house and some benefits. I deserve them like any other
\nsingle mum.\u201d<\/p>\n
Kafayat realised she was attracted to women at the age of 16 but
\nexperimented with both sexes.<\/p>\n
She says: \u201cIn Nigeria, where I grew up, people were ignorant about gay
\npeople and I had to date men to be accepted.<\/p>\n
\u201cI would date girls in secret but slept with two men \u2013 but I always knew I
\nwas a lesbian.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I moved to London five years ago I was able to date women more
\nopenly and I had quite a few girlfriends.\u201d<\/p>\n
But more than anything, she wanted to be a mum and she started hunting
\ndown unsuspecting men in 2014.<\/p>\n
She recalled: \u201cOne night in Nando\u2019s I started chatting to a guy. He was a
\n40-year-old property developer \u2013 very good looking with blue eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe spoke very well and seemed \u00adintelligent. I straight away thought he
\nwould make a beautiful baby.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe chatted and then swapped numbers. We started to date but as I got to
\nknow him I realised his personality wasn\u2019t right. He had no sense of
\nhumour.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t want this passed down to my child. I didn\u2019t want him to be my
\nsperm donor and ended the relationship before we slept together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Last June, Kafayat took a shine to a 35-year-old guy jogging in the park.
\nShe said: \u201cI was on a health kick and had started running. He was tall and
\nvery good looking. I started to flirt and he flirted back.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe swapped numbers and started to date. He was very intelligent and
\nworked as a building contractor.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter a few weeks of finding out about his medical history and family
\nbackground we slept together.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was dreading this part. The thought of having sex with a man made me
\nfeel sick but I just kept thinking about the baby I could make.<\/p>\n
\u201cI bought a DIY ovulating testing kit and checked I was fertile before
\nsleeping with him. We slept together a few times.\u201d<\/p>\n
The pair dated for two months but when Kafayat didn\u2019t get pregnant she
\nended the relationship.<\/p>\n
She said: \u201cIt wasn\u2019t happening quick enough for me so I decided I needed
\nto move on to someone more fertile.\u201d<\/p>\n
In September, Kafayat met her next target through her job at the time, as
\na TV producer.<\/p>\n
She said: \u201cHe was a 34-year-old studio engineer, good looking, witty and
\nintelligent.<\/p>\n
\u201cAgain, I spent time sussing him out and asking him about his family
\nhistory and even discovered what blood group he was.\u201d<\/p>\n
This time Kafayat went to the doctors for a fertility check-up and advice
\non how to get pregnant quickly.<\/p>\n
She said: \u201cI started researching the best sexual positions to get pregnant
\nin. It was difficult because I was living a double life. I was sleeping
\nwith women all the time I was seeing these guys too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Kafayat slept with her new man twice before she got pregnant.<\/p>\n
She added: \u201cI was so happy I was finally going to have a baby. I knew I
\nhad to end the relationship but I did start to feel guilty because I had
\ngrown close to him. I didn\u2019t fancy him at all but we had become friends. I
\ndecided to tell him the truth, that I had used him to get pregnant. He was
\nunderstandably furious and was shouting at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI said I was sorry and made it clear I wanted nothing from him and I
\ndidn\u2019t want him to have contact with me or the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n
A few months later Kafayat moved to Leeds where she is now a student at
\nLeeds Trinity University studying film and TV.<\/p>\n
She has told girlfriend Aisha everything and they hope to wed.<\/p>\n
Aisha said: \u201cI was shocked at first but when she explained I started to
\nunderstand.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s my girlfriend and I love her and I hope to be part of the child\u2019s
\nlife. I will support her all the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
It begs the question what Kafayat will tell the child about the bizarre
\nconception.<\/p>\n
\u201cI will say the father is a sperm donor and not go into detail,\u201d Kafayat
\ninsisted.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople have been shocked when I\u2019ve told them what I have done \u2013 but it
\nwasn\u2019t easy for me. I will never sleep with a man again to get pregnant. I
\nam happy with one child. My baby\u2019s dad has tried to contact me a few times
\nbut I want nothing to do with him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t regret tricking a man into getting me pregnant. All that matters
\nis my baby.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mirror<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Single-minded Kafayat Adegoke got herself pregnant after the mother of all deceptions. The 30-year-old mature student set out to be a single mum and drew up a wishlist of characteristics…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46300,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-46299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-exclusive"],"yoast_head":"\n