{"id":73602,"date":"2020-05-21T19:04:50","date_gmt":"2020-05-21T18:04:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pointblanknews.com\/pbn\/?p=73602"},"modified":"2020-05-21T19:04:50","modified_gmt":"2020-05-21T18:04:50","slug":"envy-acknowledges-success-as-jealousy-destroys-character","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pointblanknews.com\/pbn\/articles-opinions\/envy-acknowledges-success-as-jealousy-destroys-character\/","title":{"rendered":"ENVY ACKNOWLEDGES SUCCESS AS JEALOUSY DESTROYS CHARACTER"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
Farouk Martins Aresa @oomoaresa
\nWe tend to envy certain qualities and characters that make others
\nsuccessful. As long as we emulate them and strive for\u00a0 the same or
\nbetter qualities, we are motivated to a higher ground than we were.
\nThere is nothing wrong with that form of envy. Envy is an indication
\nthat you possess some admirable qualities or character worthy of
\nemulation. It can also get you into trouble with those that are
\nthreatened by the fine characters. In those days, elders pray not only
\nfor your success but that it should surpass theirs. (E to wa e juwa lo).<\/p>\n

Early in life, children are faced with Bullying that may not be easily
\ndefined as Envy when they develop their character in our community or
\nenvironment that later influence or shape their behavior into adulthood.
\nFriends are important. Indeed, we become curious if our children are shy
\nor withdraw from friends. Just as we become worried if all they want to
\ndo is play. So, we remind them that all play and no work is as dangerous
\nas all work and no play. The girls remind parents how strict we were
\nwhen they were in their late teens. As they get into their mid twenties
\ngunning for careers while playing innocent, we get nervous asking them
\nwhen they are going to bring a boyfriend or girlfriend home. Say what?
\nRelationships are functional factors of social characters within all
\nanimals, so humans are no exception. But it comes at a cost in terms of
\nenvy and jealousy. When we make comparisons to improve and better our
\nsituation or attract one another, the community benefits. If we become
\nmischievous to gain an upper hand, we run into a rat race and may poison
\nthe well.
\nThere was this popular student at one of the universities. Friends liked
\nhim and he was generous almost to a fault. He came from a good home and
\nhis parents rewarded his good behavior and grades in college to
\nencourage him.\u00a0 Who would want to hurt such an easy going spirit because
\nfriends like him? No one has everything. There is always a prettier
\nattire, a better toy, a bigger farm or some more endowed person out
\nthere than you are. As long as we are not satisfied with what we have or
\nachieved, the tendency is there to be envious. Even worse, some bully
\nthose that cannot fight back, just to feel better.
\nYoung people have a free spirit but also naive thinking they are not
\nvulnerable. It takes life experience, no matter how cautiously their
\nparents or elders implore them. The worst nightmare of parents is the
\nnews that a child at any age, not to mention a college student, becomes
\nthe victim of an unfortunate accident.
\nIt started early and developed into cancerous envy as a common enemy. We
\nhave to promote healthy behavior early in life to deter dysfunctional
\nbehavior into adulthood. Communities have a moral obligation to
\ndiscourage behavior that may not be illegal but functionally antisocial.<\/p>\n

By the time you are told to take your bike home because friends or
\nbullies consider you a snub or above their level, you may start
\nwondering if the fault is yours or theirs. Therefore, we have people
\nthat try to play down their success (a few play dumb) in order to
\nprevent jealousy for peace sake. They go out of their way to make
\nfriends around them comfortable, almost begging for amicable
\ninteraction. You cannot satisfy the wishes and caprices of people whose
\nonly motive is to control you. The more you bend and try to please them,
\nthe more\u00a0 demands they make. They are best tolerated at a distance.
\nWhat destroys us is the negativity of trying to bring good folks down to
\na lower level, out of jealousy. It is the fear of losing to others what
\nwe cherried selfishly as useful characters. We may destroy the fine
\ncharacter and good qualities we have left in us or lose it all by trying
\nto get it back through any means necessary. If you have a friend, set
\nhim free. If she is yours, she will stay, fly away or come back to you.
\nIt becomes your choice to take her or him back if it is worth the
\ntrouble.
\nWait O! Why do two rich people befriend or marry each other? One of them
\nshould be poor or ugly, at least! There are people out there that hate
\nto see two successful people together. Never keep anyone by force or
\nthreat if she is not voluntarily yours. It is conflicting enough when
\nparents reject either of you based on idiosyncrasy, myth, custom or age.
\nBirth price or dowry is a different topic. Parents have to realize their
\nobjection to their child’s lover is an invitation to rebel. If you
\nelope, after getting off your high, one of you would wonder if it is all
\nworth the alienation of families and friends. Before giving up on
\nrelatives, better sensitize them to your choice in order to neutralize
\ntheir fear. They will later appreciate your efforts.
\nOn our way to careers and higher responsibilities, we must lose some
\nfriends on the way and some friends will drop us after promotion to the
\nnext class. Goals and priorities change. Some people are going to the
\nextreme to keep casual, platonic and amorous relationships, real or
\nimagine. We have friends and colleagues at work and community that
\nbecome envious of one another while others, out of jealousy demand
\nloyalty or attention they cannot give or deserve. Sometimes it can be as
\npetty as being the favorite of the boss. Remember, as much as our
\nparents tried to love us equally, we know their favorite.
\nAnother group are colleagues that know you make about the same salary
\nbut cannot understand how you manage your money better than they do.
\nOthers calculate how much you make by your appearance and figure out how
\nmuch you should give. Envy creeps up if you cut your coat according to
\nyour means. Any attempt to please them would burst your pocket. If you
\nburst, they would be the first to ridicule you. Envy could be dangerous
\nif you do not know how to love some folks from a distance.
\nUnfortunately, no matter what you do, all lizards lie on their bellies,
\nwe do not know which has (bad belle) an arching stomach, according to a
\nYoruba adage. Many research into friendships and envy informed us to
\nrely on old or childhood friends and some families as we get older. It
\ngives us enough years to pick and choose characters that may fit our
\nneeds as we mature, to weed out some unpredictable moves, envy or
\njealousy. While it is true that you should keep your friends close and
\nyour enemies closer; no one in their matured age needs unnecessary
\nhassles and distractions.
\nWhen you look back from cradle to grave and examine the causes of Envy
\nand Jealousy, it boils down to Wealth, Jobs, Partners, gorgeous Bodies,
\nCars, Abodes
\nor Vanities that could not buy Death, Peace of Mind or Heath.<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Farouk Martins Aresa @oomoaresa We tend to envy certain qualities and characters that make others successful. 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