Date Published: 05/07/09
CHILDREN OF SINGLE MOTHERS FAIR BETTER IN AFRICA DURING WORLDWIDE RECESSION
By Farouk Martins Aresa
It is strenuous enough for families with two parents during financial anxiety if one or both lose their jobs, but harder to imagine single parent households, most of who are women. The image of African children sold all over the world dismay people of goodwill even when these children are disillusioned if “saved” from export in Africa. Many of them would curse their rescuers who never cared a bit for them in poverty but suddenly took notice on their way to greener pastures.
There are some cultural shock-absorbers in Africa that help single mothers cope with our unfortunate children; it is none other than men and extended families for strength and stability. The role of men abroad where they are the father of their children and the role of men in Africa where they are the father of all children make the difference. That it takes a village to raise children is not a political slogan but real African way of preserving our culture. It is all we have left since economic justice is lost to the devils and lesser devils that crowded civilities out.
Nigeria is one Country that has fallen so many times. One of our most cunning leaders cannot understand why Nigeria still stands. Many homes can still accommodate a man and extended family in Africa in the face of economic tumult but there are few family homes in US or Europe for a man without a pay check. We still have women struggling left, right and center to hold their families hoping for economic miracle in Africa. That is hardly the case abroad. The system does not tolerate a man who cannot provide in the house.
If we need to learn from our African American brothers, it became obvious that as they move from the South to the North to take advantage of the industrial revolution, they lost extended family support which was the basis of their strength and stability like ours. Family so strong, it kept them together through the period of depression. As blue worker jobs shrank, the number of single mothers jumped from less than 20% in 1940s to almost 60% today. The chances of becoming a sport or music star out of millions are unrealistic.
Almost half of black children in Britain are raised by single parents, 48% of black Caribbean families as 36% of black African households. But single parent families are not as common in Indian families 10%, Bangladeshi 12%, Pakistanis 13%, Chinese 15% and whites 22%. Nine out of ten of them have single mothers as head of household. Different studies have shown that those children without biological fathers at home are more likely not to finish school, commit crime and remain unemployed. Are traditional homes better for children than “modern” homes?
In United States, Asians that have very close family relationship and stick to their cultures have only 12% single mothers, less than white with about 17% and about 24% for Latinos. Cultural breakdown, no matter how we look at it and economic downturn that are usually harsher on African American or Africans contribute to a larger extent.
Even the numbers of children with neither parent at about 9% for African American is thrice as high as Asians with 3%; and twice as high in whites 4% and Latinos 5%. As poor as Africa has become, many parents usually look for any way out of their countries mainly for the sake of their children. Without either parent, it’s a quagmire some parents send children into abroad. If we are looking for children who will save Africa, they have to be home grown, not an Obama.
It has been argued that the problem has nothing to do with being a nurse but the main income earner who wants control over her own money. This is significant as cultural reversal creates problems between mothers and fathers and between parents and children. Women of the host countries are able to hold their homes better than Diaspora Africans, but so are those at home in Africa. Hosts claim they stay put only for the sake of their children. Would there be careers or homes if any of the spouses in Kennedy, Clinton, Zuma, Edward, or Strom Thurmond had left?
Unfortunately, that is the beginning of the dislocation of an African family. Once the man is out of the house, the single mother cannot hold. Yet, there are welfares services that are in place to cater for the single mother and the children. In cases where the mothers have a good job, the income may save them from low income housing where children of the same feathers learn to survive on the streets.
Poverty itself is relative. Many of us who grew up in Nigeria in those days still think we had the best of that Country. If you compared our standard of clean living environment to those outside the Country, only aliens might say we were living in ghettos. It was never ghetto to us. Indeed those of us who decided to go back home after our studies never fail to spend time after work two or three times a week in the areas we grew up. Oh no, it has nothing to do with the girls.
There is a wide cultural disparity between the children of single mothers in Africa and those in Diaspora that cannot be explained by money, material goods or rich environment. The cost of looking after children as a single mother in United States or Europe could easily overwhelm the strongest one amongst us. The longer these children spend outside the countries, the worse off they are compared to their cohorts at home. It is a troubling fact parents realize too late.
From a mental capacity to deal with them to the economic realities of paid babysitters, it’s back breaking enough on a two parent family, not to wish it on a single mother. Forget the single fathers, while there are less than 9%, it can be suicidal. Even at home, it’s increasingly hard, but it cannot be compared to US or Europe. The cost of university abroad these days can discourage poor citizens of those countries, not to worry about foreign students who must pay surcharge in some cases. It is one of the reasons exotic schools makes money at home without guidelines.
Another solution: Many parents are now sending their children to old boarding high schools in Africa before bringing them back to further their studies. The desire to study and excel where there is no automatic option is greater. That option is usually taken for granted amongst many African kids that have assimilated outside Africa. Of course, there are always exceptional kids no matter where they are. But automatic options to progress may not be straight forward for some.
There was a friend of ours in those days who said it was too hard to study abroad. Why? As a kid in Nigeria, he went to school free and came home for free food and free rent, yet he could not do well in school. So what made us think that in a country where he had to work and go to school, pay for food and rent, that he would study hard? Abeg commot!
