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Well-done Madam Speaker

Inqueries in all the relevant places indicated that contrary to the reports, none of the contracts breached any procedure – Ezeuvhe Ubani, the House Committee Chairman on Media and Public Matters(Nigerian Tribune)

Nigerians are playful like children just let loose from school. There is no exception including my very self. As each day wax, taxpayers and non-taxpayers pretend to be indignant at what they regard as an illegal use of public funds. They show an irascible response each time the bulldozer leaders crush their toys. How sincere is their critical attitude? Why are they such captious pedants, dismayed by every news of embezzlement? Is their cries genuine or just seeking attention like critics now serving under the government they had severely criticized?

We have had the attitude that corruption is fun even before I was born. The difference now is that it has been taken to a higher level. No one has helped the matter. Even incensed at our bulldozer leaders’ unfairness treatment of funds could mean an attitude of surrender. For we have reached the apex of our complex mental state where public officials and the citizens consider stealing as a way of life. Wait until you secure a government job and see whether the pressure to loot from your family or relatives or friends could be easily defied.

From Madam Speaker to Mallam Governor to Mr. Local Chairman, even to that super rich farmer turned theology student, a critical attitude simply means a way to be noticed. It’s plainly an invitation ploy for chop make I chop service. Only a very few believe otherwise. If a Ehindero or a Tafa Balogun or a Iyamu or a Adewusi who supposed to apprehend robbers is himself close to being armed robber, what do Nigerians expect? Yet they show indignation at every such news which I think should have stopped shocking them.

Psychologically, the bulldozer leaders have stopped worrying about your hunger or anger – no matter how righteous it is. She does not worry over the prospect of being fired as long as she could use her term travelling abroad for a 54-year-birthday party. America has ever been her dream country so she must use her office to visit Bushland otherwise her inferiority complex remains. She violently believes there’s nothing wrong renovating a renovated official residence and that of her deputy at the exorbitant cost of #238 million as long as it is not #628 million.

Why are we ingeminating our indignation when Madam Speaker and deputy are only following traditional character of Nigerian leaders? Why should a Patricia Ette be different from a Babangida or an Obasanjo when it comes to accumulating wealth at the expense of the citizens? It devoid of wisdom or good sense to expect even a modicum of service from Madam Speaker and her ilk. Are Nigerians so playful to have forgotten that it’s impracticable to force humans to exhibit the character they do not possess? Virtually that’s what Nigerians are agitating for, and psychologically such irascible response is not modifying their leaders’ sadistic ego or looting spree, or even inferiority complex. They’ll never turn over a new leaf until we make them a leper in their own communities. Are you with me ?

Though Nigerians response to their leaders’ outrageous flaunt may as well mean a cry to arms, they are unable to understand or deeply tackle the actual cause of official pilfering or incompetence. They focus on the personality of public officials rather than undertake the dreaded phenomenon of official robbery. For instance, what makes Babangida corrupt and Abacha more corrupt and Obasanjo more corrupt? What prompts Sunday Ehindero despite the demise of his predecessor, Tafa Balogun, to still go ahead and steal millions of naira? Why must a presidential candidate or a minister treat catarrh or die in a foreign land?

Governor Jonah Jang of Plateau State recently confirmed what some of us had known long time ago. He said that the "temptation to steal public funds was too much on public office holders". Jang, who also governed during the military era, thinks only prayers could redeem public officials - from looting the treasury. I disagree with him in the sense that, for example, Obasanjo told us how much he prayed during his 8-year-rule, yet the man ended being one of the most corrupt rulers – ever. Innuendo? I beg yago make I see road o jare.

I may not know exactly how we could overcome the problem of corruption and ineptitude in governance but I surely know how not to solve it. We can never solve this problem by hypocritical praise. A government that bases its goal of fighting corruption on the premise that one man can steal a cow while another must not look at its tail is bound to fail. No amount of jail terms would help as long as there’s inequality in the application of such process. The vestiges of official corruption cannot be uprooted when there’s immunity clause that harbours such conduct.

It’s impossible to curb corruption when a governor or a local Chairwo/man or a minister who had stolen billions of naira bargained to return part of the loot in order to escape jail term. This is not only wrong but as well may inspire up and coming public officials to ransack the treasury. Until Nigerians start treating corrupt officials as armed robbers, it’s unlikely the change would come sooner. We have never had a government that was committed to solving corruption without controversy. Ribadu’s war would have been but for his organization notorious witch-hunting and stupid techniques exhibited by his ex-boss.

What exactly is the offence of Patricia Olubunmi Etteh? What has she done that her predecessors had not done? Fraudulent appropriation of funds? Birthday party in her home town in America? That’s all? Etteh’s substantial crime isn’t corruption or inefficiency (how many of them are apt at what they do?) but leading a huge crowd of men who possibly are uneasy that a woman is leading the House of Representatives. She is one hairdresser who must specialize in surmounting the problems of gentlemen’s baldness.

Let me round this up by saying, whenever a Madam Speaker renovates even a new official residence and buys cars worth millions of naira, we should neither query her character nor rationale behind her irrational behaviour rather we should say well-done just like what we say when Fela Anikulapo-Kuti smokes grass and coughs repeatedly. Well-done Madam Speaker.

By Hakeem Babalola