Date Published: 10/28/09

Why Women Are Used and Abused By Oghene Omonisa

The cock dashes after the hen wherever she scampers to. His head stretched forward for fast movement, his steps flashing to meet up with her fast pace, and his eyes full of desire, he follows every of her destination, no matter how sudden or how often she decides to change direction, until he eventually catches up with her. His claws clutch her wings to press her down as his beak reaches for her nape to steady her. Surprisingly, the hen that has been on the run before, now raises her tail, exposing her inner sanctuary for convenient access for him. Then copulation takes place. The running and chasing is just a ritual. While she preens herself after the act, he struts off with a swagger, his steps full of pride, satisfied, as if there will never be need for it again. But, of course, there will be, sooner than he expects.

Animals will be animals, no matter their species. Although the level of intelligence may vary, when it comes to sex, their behaviour follows similar pattern. The female maintains the animal magnetism while the male is attracted by this magnetism. While the female plays hard to get, the male runs after her, but at the end, it will all turn out to be mere shakara – animal instincts. Except perhaps in humans, there is generally no other attraction rather than sex appeal, which draws the male to the female. While some guy may tell you he hooked his partner because of her intelligence, character, inner strength, blah blah blah, the gospel truth is that her looks were the primary attraction. When a guy meets an unattractive girl, there is no urgent need to get pally with her, but the exact opposite is the case if she is attractive and pretty.

Although libido is in every guy, while some young guys stick to one woman, at least for long at a time, before finally settling into matrimonial one woman, others change them as often and as easily as they meet them, taking the habit into their matrimonial home – many wives and/or concubines. Psychologically, every young man wishes he changes them as frequently as the stereotype Casanova, but he cannot do this because, perhaps, he does not have the style or the money or the time it requires. For those who have got all it takes, women are an easy game to satisfy their voracious sexual appetite. And, like the cock, the groove goes on as often as possible, as different as can be chased and caught and as frequent as every catch. But, understandably, not every girl is an easy prey for every raving cock. Some females have their brain in their head and not between their legs.

If women being used is strictly for sexual satisfaction, then it would have been okay, after all, some women actually desire to be used. Women are known to brag about being laid or having had a quickie with some guy, maybe a celebrity or a popular handsome dude, just for the fun of it. But women being used goes beyond sex. A guy professes love, even marriage, to a girl, just to use her connection to secure a job or a contract, then after achieving his aim, he blends with the air. A lover lures his pretty but naive sweetheart to Europe and introduces her to prostitution and uses her sweat to enrich himself before abandoning her. A guy fabricates fabulous stories to get money from an infatuated but wealthy lover while two-timing her, and eventually elopes with his true love after milking her empty. Stories abound of guys using women.

But guys do not use women because they are of lower intelligence. No. The female folks may be weaker physically but not intellectually. After all, women are known to use men, too. Anything a guy can do to a woman, another woman can also do to another guy, vice versa. But the truth is that women are biologically more sentimental and emotional than men, and they are being used more often that they use men. That is why it is seen that men use women. And in the absence of a guy’s ability to stand up to intellectually face his woman, he resorts to physical assault, which brings us to physical abuse.

Intelligent guys do not assault their women. They reason with their women. Women are characteristically known to be loudmouthed, with razor-sharp tongue. But every confrontational woman is influenced by a receptive man. When a guy cannot confront his woman with reason and authority, he becomes her footmat. It is then he turns to violence for rescue. But that does not say it is only women that generate violence in otherwise non-violent guys. Some guys are naturally violent, both to their women and to male folks alike, while some only practise on their wives every new boxing trick they watch on television.

Men who assault or physically abuse women do this because they lack the intelligence to do otherwise, or because they feel they can. Imagine a victim of violent abuse who secretly goes for and masters karate skills, and the unknowing and assaulting husband wants to rain punches on her again, and the table turns with him receiving the beating of his life. The next time they have a misunderstanding, he will use his brain and not his brawn. While one is not advocating reprisal violence for victims of violent abuse, as the courts are there for that purpose, one is only saying men abuse their women because they know they can.

Thankfully, women’s liberation groups and other non-governmental organisations (NGOs) are cropping up in every corner of the world, enlightening women and fighting and protecting their causes, especially those facing abuse. And cases of woman abuse are believed to be decreasing, notably in advanced societies. This is hoping that women will not be so liberated that some day, men will, perhaps – just perhaps – have cause to fight for men’s liberation.