I Wan Go Born For America

Walemi Ogunleye

walemine@gmail.com

‘Oga, I hope you are okay sir, you just de doze since morning. E fit be symptom of malaria. Maybe you go need to ask madam to make agbo for you’

‘Lamidi the driver, thanks for your concern jare. I am very fine. Its just that woke up in the middle of the night to watch the debate between Obama and McCain,’

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‘Debate?’

‘Sure, the debate between the two presidential aspirants in America’

‘These oyinbo people sef, dem be students? What has debate got to do with election?

‘A lot Lamidi. It is an avenue for the candidates to tell the electorates their programmes; to express their beliefs and market their manifestoes to the electorates’

‘Na wa o oga, so, the candidates go tell the people wetin dem go do if them win chei?

‘Oh yes, that’s the beauty of democracy’

‘Ehn, oga, I heard that Osama is a black man’

‘Point of correction Lamidi, his name is Obama, Barack Obama, and indeed he is our black brother, his father hailed from Kenya’

‘Kenya? ordinary Kenya, Kenya wey no get money; wey we de beat for football anyhow’

‘Hmmm, this is not about Kenya, it is about a man who has utilised the opportunities offered him by the American ideals to actualise the fullness of his potentials’

‘I don’t understand o oga, you know say before, na the whites colonise us. Now are we colonising America’

‘Funny you! Get this right, any child born in America is automatically a citizen of America. Obama was born there, he even had an American mother, so he qualifies to be an American, and as an American, he is entitled to all the privileges that citizens are entitled to, including running for the presidency’

‘These oyinbos no get sense o. E no go fit ever happen for Naija. Only the authentic sons of the soil go fit get leadership positions’

‘Yeah, and that is why we are this backward; that explains why we have not made any headway. When you sacrifice merit and competence on the altar of son of the soilism, what you get is inept and ineffective leadership’

‘But oga, there are many Nigerians in America, why one of dem no fit contest to be president?’

‘Lamidi, this is the first black man to come this far. May be in the near future, other blacks would have their chances’

‘Ha, I go de pray make a Nigerian man become American president. I sure say he go make visa available to all Nigerians wey wan go America free of charge. I no go think am twice before I pack my bag and go Yankee, go hustle’

‘So you also want to leave Nigeria Lamidi’

‘Ha oga mi, who no like beta thing? I wan go America go make dollars. I go carry my whole family go. You know say one dollar now na plenty naira, I go make plenty money, come back come marry another wife and pick chieftaincy title from the kabiyesi of my village’

‘Hmmm, Lamidi, another wife? May God save you. So that’s the next item on your agenda. How many children do you have now?’

‘Ha ha, oga mi, na just five o, we de expect the sixth one now’

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‘And you don’t think you have more than enough on your plate as yet, you still want to take a new wife’

‘Oga I wan go born for America, maybe one day, my own son too fit become America’s president, abi now’

‘Anyway, all the best in your wishful thinking. Please pay attention to your driving o’

‘No problem sir, you know say I don de drive for over twenty years now, I never get one single accident’

‘Hen hen oga, I also heard that the other candidate- McCain was once a soldier’

‘Actually he was in the air force. He has fought for America in war and he had a most meritorious service record’

‘I hope they don’t make a mistake to elect him o. Make dem learn from Nigeria’s experience’

‘What do you mean Lamidi, I don’t understand you’

‘Ha oga, you don forget wetin happen when we elected an old soldier last time? Haba oga, u don forget?’

‘What happened, the man tried his best now’

‘Oga, he no try anything o, he just de pretend that time like say he no de chop. We no know say na so so our money him de swallow. Hmmm, baba Oniyabo’

‘What are you talking about Lamidi’

‘Haba oga, na you de talk like this? The house of reps members don expose am now. That na why we no de get light. All the money for NEPA, na thief dem thief am’

‘Lamidi, enough of this discussion. Please face the road, don’t put me in trouble’

‘Hmmm, oga mi…., no wahala sha, God dey’

 

‘Walemi Ogunleye

walemine@gmail.com