Today, the ultimate aim of the Almighty God in instituting marriage seems
defeated as marriages are crashing by the seconds across the globe. God had
instituted marriage for the purposes of perpetuity and procreation. But the
reverse is the case.
According to a projection, the number of family breakups doubled between
1970 and 1980.Though the rate slowed during 1980, the projection predicts
that if the rate of divorce does not abate in the coming years, permanent
marriages will soon drop to below 50 percent of the population.
The trend has changed from increase in the divorce of those married for
more than twenty years in the 1970s to the dissolution of marriages even
few months after contracting them. In fact before now, it was assumed that
if a couple made it through two decades, the marriage was sealed for life.
Analysts and different schools of thoughts have attributed the alarming
increase in marriage breakups to several factors. It is argued that the
hyper improvement in technology has foisted several adjustments on the
lives of couples. Couples who were initially compatible in several ways
have now drifted apart. These include the introduction of mobile gadgets
which has ridiculous facilitated promiscuity among couples as a result of
easy access to vital information.
Besides, harsh economic situations have hit most families below the belt
stretching the patience of most vulnerable wives to unprecedented limits.
Now, the vow” for better, for worse” is now a story for the birds .When
these wives could no longer bear the excruciating pains of the stings from
the harsh economic conditions, they seek for greener pastures. In this
vein, men are not spared as the harsh economic situations have turned them
to gold diggers. In their gold digging adventures, they may dig deep into
the gold mines of some easy virtue women and become trapped forever.
Most times, childlessness which exerts much pressure from the relatives of
the couples may lead to marriage breakup if the couple fails to demonstrate
intense maturity and absorb the pressure.
Ordinarily, the church could have been a succour or provided alternative
for marriages on the verge of collapse but the reverse is the case as the
church has in some instances facilitated marriage breakups. Instances
abound where wives who have gone to ministers of God to seek solutions for
their marriage trials have ended up being wooed by the ministers . A
startling number of veteran Christians, even high profile preachers have
taken to divorce as the last resort to end their marriage disagreements.
The church as soon as the last marriage is dissolved presides over another
marriage by the same preacher.It could have been more ideal for a preacher
who resorted to divorce as the last effort to end marriage disagreements to
lack the moral courage to preside over church activities. This is because
one of the maxims of equity prescribes that” he who comes to equity must
come with clean hands”.
If the truth and biblical principles were to be upheld in the church,
Christians who sought unbiblical divorces should not be allowed to hold
high offices in the church. Also, the church could have served as a center
for instructions that enrich the lives of members. By so doing, many
marriages could have been saved from collapse.
Another major contributor to the unprecedented marriage breakups are the
legal institutions. The sanctity of marriage institutions is by no means
respected by our legal institutions as they blink no eyelid in invoking
some legal instruments to dissolve marriages even on the most ridiculous
grounds.
Part of the efforts that would ameliorate this worrisome situation is for
intending couples not to go into marriage on face values or basing marriage
consideration on elements that are transient or superficial such as wealth,
beauty or family background. Marriage considerations should be strongly
based on genuine love which surpasses all superficial considerations.
Also, parents should reduce their influence in marriages either at the
contractual stage or the marriage proper. They should allow couples to bear
their crosses, including childlessness. Immense respect should be accorded
to the biblical injunction: “For this cause a man shall leave his father
and his mother and shall cleave to his wife;and they shall become one flesh
“(Genesis 2:24).
It is noteworthy here to submit that the parties that suffer most in
marriage breakups are the children as they are raised in a very poor form,
most times by single parents. This also has spiral effect on the larger
society as ill- mannered youths or adults are unleashed on the larger
society. It is also not out of place to assert that women from broken homes
most times do not make good wives.
At this juncture, a pathetic appeal goes to couples to strive beyond
reasonable limits to make their marriages work by being prayerful and
reducing to its barest minimum third party involvements in their marriages.