By Uche Ihejirika
I was out with a friend who has lived here in the United States for over 15 years without valid papers and therefore unable to visit home. Over a couple of drinks, I sought to know why he is still here, seeing that his lot would have been far better at home than what he has made of himself here, bearing in mind that most of our mutual friends are on top of the game in Nigeria, living out the very dreams that most of us left in search of, which for the most part has become a nightmare to many. He truly is a pathetic story. My friend has resigned to fate. After these many years, how would he catch up with the system he ran away from which has turned around to overtake him. He is neither here nor there. The little investments he made by proxy have been eaten up by the birds and termites masquerading as friends and family at home. And so he is consigned to what his lot has become here.
In consolation, he has his two kids here to point to as evidence of a time not totally wasted in America, even though the children don’t live with him and he is drying out daily to pay child support. I honestly don’t know how much of a support it is to the child or children when the beneficiary is the baby mama and her boyfriend. He has embraced his life of hard labor, working 9 to 4 on one job and 12 to 8 on another, while battling with a myriad of stress induced health problems ranging from high blood pressure to diabetes as well as all manner of pain conditions – from neck to back to waist pain. I try to sympathize with my friend and his likes but I find myself resenting him and what his life has become.
I look back at our days in Lagos and I wonder if he still remembers. I am sure he does. We were young, ambitious and had it going well. Life was good in Lagos, Port Harcourt, Abuja and the rest. The system wasn’t too good but we got the system working for us. And that’s the good side to Nigeria and Nigerians. Nigeria was never intended for the weak and dull.
We make sense out of our nonsense and have to the amazement of the rest of the world carved out our peculiar culture and value system which none but us know how to thrive in. Now my friend has brought himself to a different land and culture. He is no longer able to work the system. He looks back at the long journey behind and the uncertain future ahead of him and all he could mutter was “BOY, I FUCKED UP”. The American system contrary to his expectations has worked him to submission.
He lives in the land of the free, but he is trapped. He is trapped because he is a willing accessory to his entrapment. He can exercise the freedom and liberty of returning home but he wouldn’t because he has been away too long and conveniently finds comfort and excuse in the bad news that circulates about Nigeria as a land that swallows its own. Now he is hoping and praying that Obama provides him one final grasp at liberty but the hopes are dimming by the day. And so he resigns to fate, waiting on the benevolence of another man to determine if he will freely live as any free man would.
Until then, my friend will continue to live in the shadows. As the evening wound up, I left him, wondering how a man who once had a full life would consent to living far less than half his worth, knowing that he may not be able to honor his frail old mother with his presence before she passes on.
Why.. ? The reason is simple. He has been shackled and numbed by the baits and traps of what appeared to be greener pastures. I feel for him, knowing that it’s a long lonely journey that may never dock at the port of liberty. And to my dear country men and women seeking to escape to some imaginary paradise abroad, I offer my fraternal counsel…. Think deep and look deep before taking the dip. It is not often as green as you presume. Be wise to save yourself from an avoidable life of servitude.